Why would you ever do anything for yourself?
Perspective from a recovering people-pleaser.
“That’s egoistic, not caring, ignorant and arrogant.”
As a former people-pleaser this is what I always thought.
I need to do things for others, all the time.
I need to not put myself first, ever.
I need to be polite & not offensive, I can’t speak my true mind, cos it could hurt someone.
All this is wrong.
Yes, I like to be polite, I also don’t want to offend anyone, but if I stay kind, caring and loving, I won’t possibly offend anyone.
Yet, they can still feel offended if they choose to.
I used to think it’s my responsibility. The feelings of others is what I am supposed to carry. This is not true either. I know that now.
They can of course be mad & take it personal if I set a boundary, but its their problem, not mine.
Others can feel offended if I speak my truth, but if it is mine & I don’t force it on them: again, not my problem or responsibility.
I could go on and on about all the lessons-learned while recovering from my people-pleasing.
Cos most importantly is, that I still want to bring value to others and be of worth! I want to help, support, care & see people grow & thrive. & I know its important and possible to find those ways that fit to each individual.
So my next year will revolve around the word “community”.
Therefore, my last Substack post for this year, will be written by myself, for myself.
I always write all my posts myself & I try to share insights & values that could be worthy for others.
This will happen a bit now too, but I will keep it as a summarizing overview of what happened for me in this last year 2024, in form of a bulletpoint list.
You are free to keep on reading, or skip it, I won’t feel offended either way.
I will feel honored if you read it & manage to find anything that reminds you of maybe something you experienced & forgot to give yourself credit for.
Either way, I hope your year 2024 made you grow, realize important aspects for your life & you felt lots of joy & adventures!
Here I go, my year 2024:
Let’s start with my business milestones:
I had two of my best months of the year income-wise
I found a Co-host to build a community (in 2025 ;), stay tuned)
I got several big-paying clients for scientific illustrations
I got invited to give a lecture on export & internationalization
I got my first Mentee! Plus two additional ones from the US!
I did my first cannabis research illustration!
I expanded on my Substack Newsletter: 175 Subscribers!
I wrote every day on X/Twitter & substack since four months!
I sold two Masterclass spots about social media!
I set new goal revenues & got much more comfortable with money
I financially invested a lot in myself!
I had a breakthrough of Business-Daria, knowing her worth
I said no to a paid gig, cos I realized I was exploited & decided I dont want that.
I kept on growing my LinkedIN presence & following daily
I helped out some colleagues at work when shit hit the fan!
What new did I learn in 2024?
I started online writing & I love it!!!
I re-activated my X/Twitter account & am learning about the platform
I joined a writing-business Master Mind which is brilliant
I started to learn copywriting, as I won a course & I love it!
I did a Workshop on sketching the first time: almost 50 sign ups, 27 show-ups: huge learning curve & I loved it!
I prepared my first art exhibition & learned what/how to go about that
What about coaching/support/personal growth in 2024?
I got myself energetic coaching sessions with a coach I always wanted to work with
I started with The Journey by Brandon Bays
I got two brilliant online writing teachers & an amazing, supportive community
I stopped being a student of a teacher I did not feel is right anymore
I went to Stockholm & visited high-profile stores like Gucci/Prada/LuisVuitton to eliminate my money-mindset lies: it was brilliant!
I kept on doing Mantra Meditation, speaking to the Universe & God
I started journaling again.
I tried to teach & guide mantra meditation sessions myself & realized I dont want to do it.
What happened around anything art-related & creative?
I had my first abstract art exhibition: I would have NEVER dared to imagine that!
I painted two paintings together with my sister & had no problem with that at all.
I painted in front of my dad: HUGE, BIG deal!!!
I painted a lot for myself & for fun & for others too, as e.g. gifts.
I made four advent calendars with my sister & one myself & we made people happy!
I painted blackboards & signs for an outdoor coffee shack
I offered mindless-ness painting sessions & loved it!
I started to play my Kalimba again
What other more personal milestones did I have?
I became a Godmother: such an honor!!
I opened my heart to the potential for love & got disappointed: painful but resulting in a huge growth spurt!
I set boundaries with a draining friendship & still feel better to having let it go
I started eating meat & improved my health
I stopped eating sugar
I decided to never drink even a tiny sip of alcohol anymore
I started with dancing classes again
I had many emotional breakthroughs & breakdowns
I felt anger and rage, I started to work through difficult emotions
I learned how to set my boundaries well
I got better at listening to my intuition
I realized my innermost core is deeply feminine & I want to live more in accordance to it!
About the outdoors, nature & travels:
I did my yearly summerhike & my sister joined us
I also did my yearly winter hike
I did only one ice-bath, deliberately
I visited Hungary for the baptism of my godson
I visited Vienna with friends
I went to Poland
I did many hikes & outdoor adventures
I kept on living on my balcony as my summer-residency
I leased a new car
All about Family & Friends:
My sister moved here: freaking awesome!
I was at my grandmas 90iest birthday in Poland! It was magnificent!
I helped out many friends with their kids on any random occasions
I reconnected with many long-time-no-see friends
I volunteered at a coffee-shack of a friend
I was there when I was needed by anyone of my friends or family members!
I kept on exchanging voicemails with my voicemail-friend in germany, almost daily!
Our parents came to visit us for Christmas & New Years
What did not work out as I would have wished it to work out:
My mentoring program did not take off as much
I did not find love, & I realized, that I still wasn't ready for it.
I noticed that I can sometimes get unhealthily obsessed & cant always stop it.
I did not reach my company revenue goals.
I lost my 2000-days-duolingo streak
My dog Buffy got a small surgery because of an inflammation she had
Well, that is it I would say.
It feels like a lot! & I still feel I must have forgotten many things & it makes me feel a bit bad somehow.
This is the reason why I never did a yearly milestone review until now, because of the feeling of missing important aspects & having it incomplete.
Funny enough, this is also the reason why I dont use Spotify, cos I can’t possibly list all the songs I know & love into any kind of list.
I have to say, I like to keep it in form of this bulletpoint list. Without any lessons I want to add, any specific memories.
There are plenty of them here, & I will keep it as a list to go back to & draw stories from for thee future. Then I will extract the important lessons & share them with you!
For now, this is it! My last Newsletter post for this year!
I wish you amazing last days of 2024 & if you have not done such a milestone listing: I can only encourage you to do it, it feels like a relief, even writing down what did not happen & what I wish to be different!
Nejoy the netrry into the next year 2025 & have an amazing start! I have the feeling it will be awesome!
Love,
Daria