What to do, if I know that I triggered someone?

Pondering upon a situation that occurred to me a while ago...

I am walking this earth around 36 years now. 36 years of ups and downs, amazing moments, adventures, experiences, love, laughter, difficult moments, growth, development, learning, teaching, facing challenges, growing up even as a grown-up, getting to know people, loosing people, working, playing, enjoying and sooo much more…

36 years are:

432 months

1878.428 weeks

13 149 days

315 576 hours and

amazing 18 934 560 minutes.

That’s a lot. And that is just counting the time I have spent on earth. It doesn’t count the memories, the adventures, the conversations, the fights, the loving interactions and all the people I have met. Also not the words I have spoken or written, I guess these are impossible to determine…

I have always been a very aware person, super cautious to not hurt anyone, console when needed, taking care of others, trying my best to be kind and nice. At times this has come with a price of so-called people-pleasing and disregarding myself. It has been a program embedded in me very deeply and it took me a while to rewire myself from it.

I am by far not perfect yet, but I notice when I compromise myself for someone else, catch myself in the act & redirect my actions early enough… most of the time ;-). Cos depending on the relationship I have with someone, it might take me longer to realize, because the engravement is too deep and strong. I still believe being kind is crucial though, however not at the cost of losing myself and in combination with saying “No” when needed, or clarifying where my boundaries are.

Even though I have always tried to be as kind as possible, I have hurt people, willingly or unwillingly, both these occurred. It’s basically impossible to not have occurred in the 18 934 560 minutes of my life till now. The only thing left to do then is, to apologize and hope that the damage is not permanent. Because our words & actions are very powerful, towards the positive and the negative.

Compassion is also essential in all this, because I often know why I have been hurtful to other people e.g. when I was in a weak and vulnerable spot, or I have been pushed too far and leashed out to defend myself? Excuse? Nope, just an explanation.

So now, being who I am with 36 years, aware of my traits, working on them, through them & keeping kindness at my core, I am less likely to hurt someone because I know myself as good as I can in the current moment.

I also try as good as possible to speak/ write from my heart & soul, from my own experience and memories, thoughts and wonderings. This is truly the only thing that I can confidently speak about… also knowing that our memories get distorted over time ;-)

And yet, it can happen that someone gets triggered by my words, thoughts, or experiences, even if I didn’t want it to happen, even if I didn’t mean it personally and just shared my personal memories or perspectives. Without even involving any other specific person…