Last year, my friends asked me to be the godmother of their son.
I was so humbled & overwhelmed that I cried happy tears. Of course I said yes! And I went to travel to his baptism in Hungary & stayed some wonderful days with my friends & their family.
Maybe some people dont see the point of baptizing a child, maybe some don’t see the point of having a godmother, I take both of these serious and honor them highly.
So for me, when I was asked, it didn’t just mean a title I could call myself, it meant for me that my friends wanted to have me in their childs life. Which is a HUGE honor.
What it means to me to be a godmother to a soon 2.5 year old:
I will always be there for him. No matter what. If he throws tantrums as a teenager & runs away, he will always have a safe place with me.
I will always support his parents as much as I can. I will also tell them when he runs away to me, so they dont worry ;)
I will tell him what amazing parents he has if he ever decides they are poop, cos seeing them now, I am in awe of their amazing parenting skills!
I will spoil him too, wherever I can :D
I will be “Madrina Daria” that always has some adventure idea to go & do & who will be silly & childlike as long as she can be. We will keep on doing a looottt of silly & fun things! & I will do my best to make him laugh as much as I can
I will try to be a continuous presence in his life, so he builds trust in me & we create a strong bond that hopefully lasts all his life.
And that trust bond with my friends: I will keep it strong as best as I can, so they know they can count on me whenever needed!
There are certainly reasons why I see it all this way, apart from that I really like children a lot & always got along well with all kids in my life.
Maybe some of it depends on my own past…
How I grew up…
I was born in Poland, to a rebellious-artist father & a plant-loving-caring mother.
When I was 1.5 years my parents decided to move away from their hometown Pszczyna and immigrate to Germany, leaving all family they had behind; all while my mom was pregnant with my sister.
That meant: total life-reset, with a toddler & a newborn, learning the language, finding accommodation, doing the driving license, jobs & build their life from scratch.
All that would have been much more difficult without friends that helped and all the other families that immigrated that became our extended family in germany.
I had plenty of aunties & uncles, even a couple of grandmas and grandpas who lived in the same apartment block with us.
I learned early on that a strong social and family-like network is crucial. My mom is up until today the master of connecting people & networking.
You know, the saying “It needs a village to raise a child”, or for that matter: “It needs a village FOR EVERYTHING”, is just so freaking true!
We also regularly spend summers in Poland with grandma and our aunt, which became our second-mom in a way. There are memories we have, that are priceless!
…and the consequences of that
So now I live in Sweden, I immigrated almost 13 years ago and I have many international friends & also some swedish ones.
My godsons parents are from Hungary and Mexico, so their families are far away and when you live as an Expat, you will start building your extended family automatically.
This experience of mine shaped how I see and approach my life and friends and their children here.
I am also happy to be the auntie of two little polish-southafrican girls, the daughters of other friends.
We can all decide ourselves how we want to live our lifes, what social circles we want to belong to, which people should be part of our lifes and there is absolutely no need to be a godmother at all.
For me that means, that I do not distinguish so much between blood-related family and chosen-family. I dont care about nationalities either.
I do care about people and our connection and being there for each other. Sometimes it means to regularly go for lunch or adventures & be there for each other.
Other times it is becoming a godmother, or auntie for children in the chosen pack. Because in the end: we all need healthy grown-up role models and communities we feel safe in.
And it is worth to build them! I couldn’t be more convinced about that than I already am!
If you look into the world & see the mess & the beauty: how do you think we can make it a better place? How can we make it feel more safe & secure?
By starting within ourselves and our own communities, friendships & families. This is the only way humanity will thrive and not be destroyed!
So in the end, its not particularly about being a godmother or not; its about the decision and responsibilities we want to take on for ourselves and others, and also for small, innocent human beings.
Because in my understanding, children are to be protected and cared about, grown to become strong and wonderful human beings who can shape the world into an even better place!
And until I have my own little human beings, I will do my best to support those around me that are entrusted to me. & of course I will keep on doing that even later on!
How do you think we can make a difference in the world?
Love,
Daria