What do I want to do in my life?

New adventures are awaiting me...

This is a question I asked myself during my PhD, when I realized that I absolutely don’t fit into academia, I don’t want to continue doing research and I felt that there is more than all that academic-science-stuffs I experienced.

My feelings towards pursuing science in the classical way changed, I didn’t get as excited anymore to do lab work, not even to analyze my results, I also disliked to write scientifically and reading papers was dreadful. I felt a strong mis-alignment of me and what I did, it also scared me and made me a bit sad, but I did not get stressed about it.

However, my PhD and science brought back my love for art and I started to combine science and art by doing scientific illustrations in my PhD. I loved it, people noticed it, asked for help and then I decided to just start my own company & become a scientific illustrator.

I have been doing that since almost five years now. The incorporation of art into my science world made a big difference cos I had something to look forward to and prepare for after my PhD.

These internal, emotional changes are something that are currently happening within me again. Even though I love to do scientific illustrations and I get excited by what my clients do and the fact that I can visualize it for them, I feel that there is something else that sits inside of me that wants to come out.

Starting my own company involved several challenges that I needed to face: my shyness and shame to show myself, my dislike of social media and money, my fear of taxes, bills and money all together, my small moments of doubt if I will be able to deliver a great final illustration… all these I successfully managed to overcome & I am very, very proud of myself for that.