These last three weeks I was thinking and recalling a lot of memories that I have with Buffy.
Some of the memories were deeply buried & got excavated by other people telling them to me, fondly remembering Buffy.
Many of them made me laugh & smile, because I felt transported back to the time they happened and I just had to laugh at them, because looking at them from the outside, some might seem ridiculous.
Not to me. Not at all.
If I love someone, I love them deeply. Full-on. No compromise in sharing my love for them and doing and giving all I can. And I loved and still love Buffy very much.
She was a member of my family, a very close one and I couldn’t give a damn about the fact that she was a dog and not a human. I know that people with pets will understand me.
My mom shared something beautiful with me recently. She told me that for her it is very difficult that Buffy died, it was too fast for her. She just spend three weeks with her when she visited me and my sister here in Umeå in the summer.
She said that she grew up with animals, but never had a very close bond to them. It was difficult for her to imagine how people would be so sad when their pets died. She couldn’t relate to it.
When I got Buffy as a puppy, she was not convinced about her, because of her breed and also cos she did not particularly thought that Buffy was cute (I KNOWWW, outragous :D, Staffys are THE cutest!!!)
Then she said, with red, teary eyes: “But you know, the way she was, the way she behaved and how I got to know her, I can really say, that she is THE most beautiful and amazing dog in the whole wide world!”
This is what the souls of dogs can do to us humans. They change us. They heal us, they support us.
The only thing that counts for me was: Buffy was a soul that was part of my life for more than 10,5 years & that I was responsible for. So I did all I could to make her happy & make sure she was well, because I deeply loved her.
So here are some of the things I did for and with Buffy to make sure she has the best possible life:
We put up fences around our bed after her leg surgery.
Buffy was always a crazy, high energy dog & she ripped her cruciate ligament and needed surgery when she was 1.5 years old.
Since she slept in our bed, my ex and me decided to install fences around it, to avoid her falling out of the bed by accident, or jumping off from it uncontrollably.
We put carpets all over the apartment for her recovery, and bought a ramp too
To make sure she did not slide around on the apartment floor, we bought carpet and cut it into the right pieces and spread them throughout our apartment, so that she had a safe ground to walk on.
We also got a ramp and moved it from the bed to the couch, so that she did not have to jump up or down from them & strain her leg
I installed a DIY hanging bell next to the door to know when she needed to go out.
To teach Buffy to communicate with us when she wanted to pee & poop, I made a bell she could ring and let us know about it. It took her just a couple of days until she understood & then was ringing the bell when she needed to go out.
I slept numerous times in the car with her when she was sick.
Buffys safe space was the car. So whenever she was sick & we needed to go to the vet, I would drive there early with her & we slept in the car to be the first at the vet, so she could be attended to as soon as possible.
Buffy in the car, her favorite spot! I also drove to my sisters house in the winter, sleeping in the car with Buffy
One day when Buffy had really bad diarrhea or so, I needed some extra help & therefore drove to my sister and the house she was living in, so she could take care of bringing us what we needed. It was winter, but Buffy felt the best in the car.
And no, we could not go inside, because my sister has two cats.
I bought her plush toys to rip them apart.
Staffys are funny & have very special behaviors. I noticed that she loved to “make snow” from the insides of toys she got. She almost instantly ripped them apart, since she was quite strong.
She had so much fun, that I got her plush toys from the second hand store, so she could make her snow.
I allowed her to be on all of the things: be on the couch, the bed, everywhere
Not much more to say to that. I loved having her around and close to me, and she had a strong need to be close to her humans. Always. So why not to allow her that.
I did have several attempts to teach her sleeping in her own bed during the night; she absolutely did not like that & sneaked back in onto my legs, when I fell asleep :D
She had three beds spread out over the whole apartment
I wanted to make sure she always had a cozy spot everywhere I went, instead of sitting on the cold floor.
I also rearranged and moved them, depending on where I was, so she could always see me and observe what I was doing :D
I did not teach her to heel and walk along my side, deliberately
Why? Good question. Because I simply did not want to restrict the (larger) freedom she had on a leash. It felt wrong to dictate her to walk next to me instead of freely exploring and smelling around in a certain leash-range.
The consequence was, that she was pulling a lot; and yes, that annoyed me sometimes and if I put her in place because sometimes I was a bit inpatient, she was the best heeling dog there is.
Until the next time again ;). The thing is, she was always around me, all the time. Sitting on me, close to me, following me to the bathroom, the kitchen, everywhere.
So I wanted her to explore the outdoors as much as possible!
She was SOOOO beautiful!!! I let her run loose not just in the forest, but also on fields close to roads
The forest-free-runs are maybe quite understandable. They make sense. The fields close to roads not so much.
However, if you have read until here, you might think Buffy was a spoiled brat-dog, who did not listen. The contrary was the case. Buffy listened extremely well. I trusted her a lot & when we had sticks & balls available, she would never run away, ever. Her main focus of life was: play! So it was basically impossible for her to run away onto a street, when there were sticks and balls that were thrown to catch and carry them.
But lets not be all roses and butterflies: I absolutely did not trust her around cats. Ever. But that is another story :)
She was allowed to shred all balls she found, and all sticks & trees she wanted to.
I was not precious about things, neither was Buffy. Sooner or later, she would shred all the toys she had (apart from the little human plush toy she had since birth). She also shredded all sticks, dead trees, and even alive trees.
It was basically impossible for her to not use her teeth & rip all things apart that came close. BUT: she never chew on things at home, never on wood, neither on pillows, not even as a puppy.
The consequence I had to deal with was: she broke many teeth and lost many as well. It was painful and sad to see for me, as a human. For her, she didn’t care. She didn’t notice the blood, neither did she seem to be bothered by having broken teeth.
This also meant that 1.5 months before she passed, she had a teeth-extraction surgery to avoid any inflammations and the specialist found a piece of wood stuck very deep behind some of her teeth. THAT was the moment I did not let her chew any sticks anymore. She could carry them, but didnt even want to rip them apart anymore, since her mouth was healing as well.
All that to say: whatever you decide for your dog, it has consequences. Not allowing her to do what she loved the most since she was a puppy, would have meant to restrict her natural way of being and decrease her joy of life. I did not want to do that. That came with these consequences.
She came on every adventure with me: hiking, camping, canoeing, kayaking, inline skating, swimming, everything!
I brought Buffy everywhere, summer or winter, she was with me. I would only avoid bringing her on winter camping trips, since she just did not have enough fur and was not a big dog with long legs. Too risky.
Other than that: she was always with me. No matter what. I did not even question to not bring her, because I did not want to be restricted myself, neither did I want to exclude her from adventures, which she loved so much. So naturally, she got different harnesses, a floating swimmvest and safety stuffs in case an accident would happen. She loved it all!
Going crazy on the beach I carried all her extra stuff on our hikes, so she was free to walk without any load.
Since Buffy had the cruciate ligament surgery, I payed attention for her to not gain weight and also to not carry extra weight. I was looking to get her a little vest to carry her stuffs before, but then I decided to not strain her more than needed. So I carried her food, water, beds, extra harnesses or what not for her. Always.
I went to physiotherapy with her.
After her surgery I went to water-physiotherapy & massages with her. Because I wanted her to recover well. But I also stopped any treatment that was unnecessary, including life-long medications, cos I did not want her liver to be screwed up. I went for alternative methods like CBD oil or herbs etc.
I took her with me to cafes & restaurants she could be in & I would work at.
For Buffy, as long as she was with me or her humans, everything else did not matter. So whenever I wanted to change scenery and work from town, I choose a cafe that allowed dogs & brought her with me. She loved it! She observed people and at some point just fell asleep. With time she had her favorite spots she would drag me to by herself :)
She waited in the car while I was at dancing events.
Buffys safe spot and favorite place was the car. I had a whole back-bench cover for her, blankets & a seatbelt there for her. On bigger adventures I would put her bed there, on small ones, she had her blankets.
She was able to stay at home alone, but she really did not like it. So when I went to dancing events, either during the day for workshops or in the evening for live-music events, I brought her with me.
Like that she had the feeling to be part of the adventure and was close to me and not left alone to wait for me. She was feeling much better waiting in the car than at home.
She walked first whenever she wanted to, because I wanted to make sure she did not get anxious because our hiking-pack was potentially splitting up.
One particular thing about Buffy was, that she needed the pack she was with, to always stay together. At all costs. She did not like people splitting from the group, walking far away so she did not see them. It would make her anxious.
So I made sure that we always walked first, because then she would have the overview & control & look back & know everyone is there. Or at least not see if someone fell behind ;) :D
I made caves for her to hide in during fireworks or thunder, or to have a safe spot on the balcony.
The strategies that I had to make her feel calm and relief her fear… I could write a lot about it. One was, to build her caves under tables, with blankets. She was afraid of sudden loud sounds and thunder & lightning or fireworks were some that happened sometimes.
She immediately would go under a table & have a specific body posture and face.
Buffy also didnt like hand clapping or when the children in front of our apartment shot the soccerballs agains a wooden wall. That is why I also build her a constant cave under a chair on my balcony, since we slept there during summer and I worked there too.
I stayed with her in the bathroom or bathtub several times as well.
Buffy also liked to go to the bathroom when there was loud noise, sometimes she jumped into the bathtub. So I came with her into the bathroom, and even into the bathtub too.
Yes, we stayed there for a while, so I brought bed blankets and covers for us, so its actually cozy & we could stay there without getting hurt. No lights of course, cos the darkness helped her too, but a candle was okay, so I could read something…
“I need to eat some of your food” I read to her or sang to her to calm her when she was afraid of loud noises.
…and that is the last thing on this list: I found out that when I read something out loud to Buffy or sing to her, she calms down and relaxes. So I did that regularly.
Either under the tables, in the bathroom or the bathtub. I really felt how she relaxed hearing my voice and none of the noises mattered anymore.
When my parents were there this summer and we had a thunderstorm, they saw her reactions. My dad the way he is, thought it is ridiculous what I do.
But I disagreed. She was my dog, afraid of noises, clearly in distress and feeling super scared and it would have never occurred to me to just leave her to herself. And then what? Just resume my stuffs, cook, eat, paint or work and leave her? NEVER in the world. This feels like emotional and mental abuse to me and I would have never wanted her to be alone when she was under such stress.
Sooo, that was it for now, all the things I did for my beloved Buffy. And I do not regret a single thing or moment from that list. On the contrary, to me all these were and are normal.
In case you are a pet owner and ever doubted you do too much: you dont! Your animal companion loves you for everything you do for them to make their life better! And if you want to do even more crazy things: do them! Go all in for your little animal friend and make its life even more awesome than it already is.
I do not think that we will ever regret having done all we could for our beloved pets. Its similar to humans: we wont ever regret having spend a lot of times with the people we love. Especially not on our deathbeds.
So keep on loving every soul in your life! Do what you want to do! Explore, go crazy & share your love as much as possible! You should know that your animal appreciates every moment with you & every gesture and help & support you give to them! I promise you that!
This is it for today, thank you for reading my words! I Would love to hear about your animal companions & your relationship to them!
Love,
Daria
