Talking to yourself – a way to live your life to the fullest
Its not crazy, insane or psychotic, on the contrary
I fully admit it: I talk to myself. A lot. I always have.
Sometimes just in my head, sometimes out loud, it depends on the circumstances.
I know that I am not the only one. I have met many people who do the same, its not some kind of crazy-person-prejudice.
How about you? Do you talk to yourself?
Recently, I have decided that I will do it in a more structured and caring way, not just as random.
Why did I decide that?
Mainly because I feel that I am currently undergoing a shift, and I want to make sure that all parts of me are on board on that journey. I want to explore life as fully as I can, no internal limitations!
There is this psychological phenomenon of split personalities. Usually that happens when a horrendous trauma occurred to a child and it was unable to handle it.
The thing is, we dont need to have an official trauma diagnosis to realize that we all have different personalities within us.
To know what I mean, I’ll go first & share some of my personalities:
I am a scientist, I am also an artist, I am an entrepreneur, I am a writer, a problem-solver, I love to connect to people and playfulness is a big part of my child-like Daria personality.
All these are within me.
What are some of your internal personalities?
The majority of my life I have disregardeed my Artist-Daria, I focussed on my Scientist-Daria by studying biology & then doing my PhD.
During my PhD the artist-Daria emerged again and I started to do scientific illustrations. That part of me was super happy to be back again!
With all this, a new personality emerged, my entrepreneur-Daria, cos I decided to start my own company & provide scientific illustrations as a service to others.
That part of me had to grow and change, try and fail, face challenges and wins, it was a blast!
Do you have such a newly-emerged part of you?
Entrepreneur-Daria became quite a central part of me and right now it needs and has a new challenge: tons of new business ideas, expansions, projects, concepts etc.
This is where I noticed that somehow playful-child-lik-Daria got lost a bit. She felt that the seriousness of entrepreneurship is taking over and her play is threatened.
What does that result in?
It means that me, as the whole-Daria, I feel out of balance. Somehow off, lost, not knowing and being aware to pinpoint what is running wrongly.
Have you ever felt like a part of you is disregarded?
After I spoke with a friend of mine, the idea emerged, that I just need to let all the parts of me interact with each other, and give each one of them a stage as well, so they feel acknowledged and valued.
And this is precisely what I am doing now! Every day. And I love it!
I speak to each part of me, address them, tell them what is the plan, any idea I have and how I want them to be involved.
It can be as simple as that: “Today we have this networking event, all of you be exactly who you are! Science-Daria jump in when its about science, entrepreneur-Daria take over when its business talk, both of you can lead that too. Artist-Daria be creative in the way you speak and appear, let your artsy-side shine, playful-Daria: give your best at the boule tourrnament, play & enjoy. Later start the sketch for the client Artist-Daria and & finish the manuscript for the other one Science-Daria. And generally: enjou and have fun while doing all that! And take time to rest when needed and wanted!”
Done.
The best thing is: I feel satisfied, I feel seen & heard (by myself), I feel that I value and respect the different parts of me and I hope that I will catch it early enough when I start neglecting one part of me.
Have you ever done something like that?
If I think about it, this is not just a talking-to-yourself strategy, neither is this crazy or weird, this is basically how we should treat people, also in a work setting, in a business and on management level, in a family, a friends circle, everywhere.
We are all different, have different skills, talents, knowledge and gifts and each part of us needs to have a fulfilling role. If I hate to build websites, but I am forced to do it, while someone else thrives in it, its pointless to make me do it. I need another task.
It is about asking, listening, seeing and processing who others are, what they are good at, how they want to contribute and then let them do it.
The freaking same applies to ourselves! To all our own, internal different personalities! And imagine if we all would do it, we would start respecting ourselves more and therefore also all other people!
Does that make any sense to you?
If so, I would love to hear you trying out this method, just on yourself and all your different personalities.
To do that, go through the following steps:
List your different internal personalities.
Assess which one feels how and why. Speak to them. Acknowledge them. Remember: they are all a part of you!
Maybe someone is missing, feel free to add her or him!
Equally, if a part of you grew up, you can relase and retire it. It can be an observer.
Then, assign all parts of you tasks you think they would love. Or times of the day.
Make sure you honor and respect these decisions.
If one day you dont manage to, apologize and make sure you make up for it.
Dont ever let a central part of you degrade or be ignored.
Because ignoring it, hurts you. You basically ignore an essential part of yourself.
Speak to them and therefore to yourself. As kind & understanding as possible.
And now, what is left is: enjoy life! Let it flow and see where it goes.
If I put it in that way, does speaking-to-yourself still sound weird to you?
Try it for only one week and see if you feel any changes! I would love to hear your experiences!
Love,
Daria
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