Support helps, but self-belief decides
A story about art, support, and trusting yourself
Today I will share a story about support in our lifes, what happens when we have it and what happens when we don’t have it.
If you don’t feel like reading through the whole story, I will give you the take-home message straight on here:
it doesn’t matter weather you have support in your life or not. What matters is how much you believe in yourself. Thats all that counts.
Now, off to the story I wanted to share with you who feel like reading it:
The main characters of the story are Sandy and Daria; me and one of my closest & longest friend in this world… and all the lifetimes we shared before ;).
We both grew up in Germany. Sandy being german, and me being polish, and then becoming german, cos my parents & I immigrated from Poland to Cologne.
We met in highschool, connected in our advanced art class through our love for art & still are close friend now, even though I live in Sweden.
Over the years we are friends now, we got to know each other a lot. And because we connected through art and we still do, it is very interesting how art was part of our lives.
I grew up in a creative family. My dad being an artist, painting oil paintings, watercolor, carving figures, drawing & sketching… he did all there is when it comes to creating art. He was exceptional at it & admired by many for his skills & talent.
My mom was always very creative too, very crafty, decorative & full of ideas on what to do, how & create beauty around us.
Me in the middle of that, seemed to have inherited some of my dads artistic talents, cos since I can remember, I was “good” at art, painting, drawing etc.
I was told I am so talented, have the genes of my dad etc & my mom always supported me in any artistic ideas. I went to all kinds of courses to live and express this gift I got, from painting on canvas, to fashion design classes, I tried out many. However, I never really stuck to any of those.
I was often asked to paint things for others, friends, family members, make gifts & I happily did that.
My main support came from my mom, not particularly from my dad. He never managed to really teach me or connect to me through our common gift for art. I also always saw the plagued artist archetype in him & in a way, I did not want to be that, I refused to be like him… yet there was this clear gift I inherited from him.
Art came very easy to me. I never had to learn about color theory, certain tools, how to draw, I just managed to do all this, above average for my ages.
(And I feel like I need to say that now: this is NOT enough! Practice is crucial and essential to become good & better at any craft!!)
When I met Sandy in out advanced art class, I admired her for her skills!
So now, with time I found out how she grew up: she was not part of an artistic or creative family.
Art wasn’t really seen as something important or worthy to pursue. She developed an interest for art and & pursued it herself.
She got herself tools, paints, wished for them & just dove deeply into practicing art, doing it, learning & exploring it.
Her family did not particularly support her in it, neither did they encouraged her to pursue it, develop, suggested her things. None of what I have encountered in my life.
She had this inner drive & wish to learn, paint, draw & become better & she became better. She is a brilliant artist, I can tell you! & because I love her so much & want to support her, here is her webpage:
https://www.sandrakamenz.de/
When we met in high school, she loved what I created as well. We had no idea that we both came from a completely different background & approach to art, also from completely different support systems.
And just for you to know: we love our families & our families love us! Deeply! We both have very great family-relations and there is no bad blood, regret or remorse or pinpointing at anyone what they have done, how and what not. None of this!
After high school, I decided to turn towards science cos I believed that I cant make a living from art & all the technology & digital stuffs is not real art. And I had quite many limiting beliefs & inhibitions.
Sandy went to study sound design, ended up working in a science museum & now at an AI language company in the tech support & customer service.
Throughout the years however, SHE continued to pursue art, paint, exhibit, share her pieces & she painted soooo many amazing fanart paintings that are licensed by e.g. Netflix or Disney, she was selected to be one of the few StarWars artists for the Star Wars celebration and she painted many many artworks for big artbooks.
Her parents are so proud of her & have several of her paintings hanging at their home as well.
In my case, I abandoned art for a while, until Science actually led me to rediscover my love for art again & become a scientific illustrator with my own company. So actually making a living from art, which I thought was impossible when I left highschool.
On my path till now, I gravitated more & more back towards traditional, manual art (not digital scientific illustrations) & I finally started painting abstract artworks ca 3-4 years ago. And share them. And sell some. And even have an exhibition.
For me it is a very slow development, a lot to do with dissolving my limiting beliefs, shame, worries, potential generational issues etc etc.
Along my way, I was still ALWAYS supported by everyone around me, including Sandy. And I also always support her.
My sister, parents, all other family members, my friends, all of them are super encouraging, even more than in my past.
One day, when I shared with Sandy about my explorations with art, playing with paints, exploring, making simple color studies, my joy of mixing and matching paint, loosing my fear of feeling they are too precious, she told me in disbelief, that she couldn’t understand why the heck I would do that. She was convinced I don’t need any basic knowledge, cos in her world, I know all that. What she has seen from me, made her be convinced that I have done all of that.
When I told her, that I never played with paint, I never smooshed it around, made color wheels, “wasted” paint or pencils, I never “learned” about art, other than just making what I made, cos this was not part of my past, she was shocked!
We met in advanced art class, cos we both obviously were advanced at art, or loved doing art, had a connection to it. None of us questioned HOW we got there, we just saw the outcomes of our creations, which we both loved.
So I realized, there are actually two take-home messages I want to share with you with this story:
The first take-home message is:
you never know how any other person got where they are today. It was surely not the same path that you took, even if the outcome is similar. Yu can never assume you know another souls becoming. Ever.
The second take home message is:
It doesn’t matter if you get support from close people around you or not. What matters is how much you want to do or become what you want to become.
Sandy did not have direct encouragement from her family, and she made it anyways.
I did have it, and I made it somehow too.
Sandy developed the belief in herself from a very young age, & the endurance to keep on creating art, no matter what.
I needed to develop my belief in myself later on in life, it didn’t matter that others believed in me. If I don’t do it, it doesn’t matter. It’s always internal.
Sandy learned the basics of art by doing it at a young age & exposing herself to it.
I learned the basics of art by playing around when I was older, still with whatever gift I got from my dad.
So, it is awesome to have support, I know that & this is why I am always supportive & encouraging to other people.
I also know that it can be hard if we don’t have support, not just from this story. We then just need to build up a certain resilience to push through what we want.
In my case, I needed to go through my own inner demons & limitations to finally dare to paint how I love to paint.
Oh and I forgot to mention: I also always compared myself to my brilliant dad & felt that I was not good enough. Which is something Sandy did not have to deal with.
Why I love to think and share these types of stories is, is because it convinces me that each one of us, each one of our souls is here for a certain purpose.
And we all have certain obstacles that are put in our way to overcome and become who we are supposed to be.
There is no point to compare anything or anyone to anyone else. All our paths are unique and different and we often dont know how and why other souls do or choose what they do in their lifes.
What we can do is, to support each other in whatever we pursue & if possible, help others to overcome their internal struggles.
But in the end, we are the only ones who can actually decide to do or not to do something. Become an artist or not. A writer, actor, scientist, farmer or what not.
To me it is powerful to know that in the end, it is me. I cant blame anyone for my life or my choices or developments.
I would never blame anyone else in my life for how my life turned out. I will always be grateful for all support I got & I know it helps & it should never be minimized.
There is a lot I have to learn & get over, still until today. I am by far not where I thin kI want to be & I have things to figure out, specifically about this whole artist-thingy & how I want to be of value for people in this world.
But I am convinced I will manage, one way or another :)
I hope todays newsletter gives you hope & encouragement. If you ever want to get words of support or have questions, dont hesitate to reach out! I would love to share some supportive words & motivations with you, or a new perspective& maybe that will remove a tiny thought-obstacle you have & you can move on on your path :)
Love,
Daria