Regulating my Energy & my fear to loose myself

It is about respect to others and myself

This is currently something that I am going through, learning how to regulate my energy. It is nothing really super new, I have always fiddeled around with it, it is just that right now it is quite extensive and intensive, because I am finding myself in all kinds of new scenarios in, which I feel that this topic brings huge lessons to learn for me. In the end regulating my energy is connected to my fear of loosing myself.

Generally speaking, on an energetic level I work the best by honoring my fluctuating energy, it is rather irregular & I dont have certain strict work routines for example. I often do and work in accordance to what I am drawn to, where my energy pulls me towards. When I speak about energy in that context, I mean my internal want/wish/gutfeeling/intuition. Sometimes it is ready for bookkeeping, sometimes for thinking about an illustration, sketching it or sometimes it is adequate for painting.

I try to honor it & act accordingly. Of course, sometimes I need to bend it a bit cos there is a deadline or I postponed something for too long, and that is also okay to do. I have a certain threshold where I can do it without harming myself too much.

When it comes to the energy I have for life, actions and my willpower, I have a lot of passion & drive there. There is a huuggee bucket of energy that I can access and sometimes it feels like I am exploding and imploding at the same time. It can get intense and strong, it can be very motivating and infective for other people, it’s like it spills onto them & they get some of my overflowing energy & get lifted as well. I have heard saying people that they enjoy it. However…