Relationships.
When you read that word, what comes up in your mind?
Your romantic partner? Maybe your mom, or sister? Or a friend?
Relationships is what every human being on earth has in common: we all have them, and we all need them. We were all made through a relationship.
Maybe it was not a romantic relationship or a marriage, maybe it was a one-night stand, or an accident, or even IVF. It doesn’t matter:
Relationships are crucial for our well-being, ideally “good” relationships. But even the “bad” ones lead us to hopefully learn something and move on with lessons that will make us avoid similar mistakes.
Now, when I look around, read around, listen around, what “Having a relationship” often means is, to have a ‘romantic relationship’. And if you dont have it, you are single, therefore not really “in a relationship”.
But here is the thing: relationships are everywhere! And can be with anyone! In any way! So we all are in relationships, constantly!
Easiest ones: with siblings and family members you have a blood-bound relationship.
With friends you have a relationship that comes from a conscious choice to be friends with each other, hang our & be there for each other.
Then, you go to work & have colleagues. Guess what?! Those are relationships as well! All of them. You have relationships with your co-worker and your boss, and the cleaning lady too, and the delivery-guy as well.
You also have relationships with the cashier of your local supermarket, your mailman, your neighbor, your dentist and gynecologist.
Some relationships last years, or even decades or your whole life. Some last a couple of weeks, some days, or even just a momentary dance-course you do together.
And all these relationships are important, some argue that there are more important relationships than others, that might be true, or not, I dont know.
I see the point that a husband or wife relationship is crucial because you ideally spend a lot of lifetime together, potentially building a family.
But I also think that friendships are almost equally important, cos they can last much longer than these romantic relationships & if you dont have true & deep friendships, then what will you do if you leave your partner? You will end up alone. And most people really do not thrive being alone all the time.
So what do all of these ramblings mean?
I think what I want to say is, that being able to consciously realize that every human being we are in interaction with, is a type of relationship we have.
AND: if we aim to make it a pleasant interaction, it will make our life and the life of the other person better! Significantly!
AND: it doesn’t matter if it will last for years, weeks, or only one evening! It is always worthy to think about how important human-to-human interactions aka. relationships are!
In a way, we could see it like a ship that you are sailing, with different passengers together with you on it, and relating to them in one way or another: relation-ship :D.
You all need to make it work so the ship is not crashing and sinking.
Sometimes that means to quickly fix an issue, maybe with a coworker on a project.
Sometimes it means to be a co-captain with your partner, steering the ship into a joint future vision.
And sometimes it means to be kind and wave to the passing ship, from which you get a load of materials, like smiling to the cashier at the check-out.
A funny recent example from my personal life: me and my sister were currently adopted by a 73-year-old gentleman at a dancing event! We became his adopted daughters and he became our adopted dance-father, as we all live in Sweden and our parents are in Germany.
He asked me a couple of days ago if he could go and get lunch with his two daughters and we immediately agreed! I am really looking forward to that and to see where this cute relation-ship will go!
The next question is: can there be relationships outside of the human-to-human realm? Hell yes!
Beyond human-relationships
The easiest example is: pets! Many of us have pets, including myself, and pets often become much more close to us than e.g. family members of friends.
They are with us all the time and if you look at psychological studies & talk to people, it is clear that pet-human relationships are amazing for our well-being.
We can go further: our relationship to nature is another crucial one! I cant imagine myself living in a big city, where there is no nature around me. The more wild the nature the better.
I need it to stay calm & grounded, walk with my dog and enjoy the air, the soil, the trees and everything mother nature has to offer.
Here again: if you look at certain studies, they show how good nature is for our mental and physical well-being.
Then, next: our relationship to our body, our food, to exercise: all that is crucial for our health and well-being as well. It is basically how we relate to ourselves, I would argue that is the most important relationship we have!
Cos if we dont like ourselves, speak unkindly to ourselves, criticize us, think we are ugly & worthless & not likeable (in the worst case scenario) we will be miserable & unable to have healthy relationships with others.
And then, we also have the relationship to something beyond of what we are. Some call it God, some call it Creator, the Universe, Energies, a Higher Power…whatever you want to call it, what and how we relate and believe in that also has effects on our life.
So in the end, “relationships” are simply ships or containments or vessels that relate to each other.
And they are truly everywhere! And making sure we appreciate all the relation-ships in our life and striving to make them as fulfilling as possible is an important life goal.
Now, how to do that? That is up to each one of us. What I try to do is to be as kind as possible, open and inviting to others, non-judgemental, willing to put effort into my interactions and also go as gracefully as possible through the hard times, cos those surely will come!
What are you doing to make sure you have healthy & thriving relationships in your life?
Love,
Daria