I tried midjourney this week... & I couldn't stand it
What a waste of time & energy...
I told myself to not engage with any visual generative AI tool.
Mainly because I like to do drawings, illustrations, paintings, any type of visual art. It is my day-job to do scientific illustrations & I have loved art my whole life.
So why would I let any tool do what I love to do? Doesn’t make sense.
Same counts for writing by the way. Any stumbled upon word, weird phrase, strange paragraph, or awkward phrasing you encounter here comes from my brain.
I am not a native speaker, but I love to write and use words & process my inner world. For that I dont need any other tool to edit my ramblings into a perfect storyline, or a polished pieces of writing. Thanks but no thanks.
Apart from that I love to do visuals myself, I have a problem with the ethical, or rather unethical operations that most of these AI tools are built upon. Not crediting artists, stealing without asking, using & reusing & commodifying art & those that make these tools make tons of profit, off of others of course.
This just sucks.
What all this leads to is distrust in any consumed piece that is out there, because now its so easy to “have X/Y/Z write it for you”. So am I reading AI generated slob or the actual thoughts & stories of a human being?
Am I looking at a piece of art done by a person, or an AI generated art piece?
This distrust & deviation between people is one of the factors that worries me the most, because ultimately it leads to: who can I trust? Can I even trust anyone?
And that leads to more division. As I said before:
This just sucks.
But back again to why I actually tried midjourney this week.
I am building a course & community with a fellow scientific illustrator for scientists who want to get into freelancing.
Long story short: we have around 400 slides for our video lessons, workbooks to prepare based on those lessons, and a community platform to set up.
We are both scientific illustrators & artists, we know how to illustrate, draw & paint, but 400+ slides & all that comes with it, is impossible to illustrate ourselves without it taking ridiculous amounts of time.
We thought, to split up the task & I agreed to try out Midjourney. Reluctantly, but I also thought: “Daria, if you have never used it & tried it, you judge it without testing it. Quite a bad scientific approach. Give it a shot.” So I did.
I signed up for Discord, a platform I used & do not like, paid for a month, my co-course creator gave me some tips & tricks & I started to try to make some visuals for an hour or so.
What happend was this:
I got angry, agitated & annoyed.
Then more angry, more agitated.
I felt it rising in my body, becoming stronger
A type of pressure that wanted to make me burst.
Yet I continued, with frustration building up.
Why?
Because I didn’t get out what I added.
Because it didn’t listen to my prompt.
Because it couldn’t use my reference.
Because it didn’t give me a white background.
Because it didn’t let me safe the files in an easy way.
And because it took 20-30 seconds between each command!
And then gave me something I didn’t ask for!
I was going crazy. I thought that these things are those magical devices that do what you tell them to! That are supposed to make things easier! (spoiler: they dont!)
Oh, and I should have done each prompt 3 times, so I get 12 variations, from which I then can choose!
That’s pure decision paralysis! I can’t handle too many options, it overwhelms me. Thats why I cant use Spotify either ;), but thats another story :D.
I felt so troubled, that I released my anger in a voice note to a friend who can handle my outbursts, even loves those rants and anger-explosions of mine. I dont have them so often, but this time it was very unpleasant.
Also because I struggled with what I should tell my co-course creator. I didnt know how he would handle it. So I already thought about doing something else instead of this task.
And of course he asked me, & I shared honestly that it freaked me out, made me angry, I hate it & wish I didnt have to use it, but now I can’t do much about it… He said: “Well yes, you don’t have to use it.” & we agreed that he does this task & I do other things!
What a relief!
I haven’t touched it since then & I will let dollars and prompt amounts I have expire and not use this tool again.
One of the worst things was the waiting time for me, 20-30seconds is really not something where you can do much other things without getting burned-out immediately. Coupled to the frustration that I didn’t get what I wanted, it made me crazy.
I assume it is even worse for me, because I can imagine what I want and I can do it myself, so when I don’t get it from this fancy tool, I get frustrated.
At the same time, I can see the beauty of what my co-course creator made for the slides, I really love the way they look and can appreciate him loving this task.
It just repulses me so much, that I rather use ChatGPT for other tasks that I have more control over the outcome than any visual.
Now, I have yet another AI experience that shapes my perception of it & what I think it does to us humans and our society.
I honestly am just strengthened in my opinion that there is more troubled consequences than good ones. Yes I use ChatGPT for research, when I have a simple question or a recipe here & there.
Bu tI even stopped using it for my formatting, for adding emojis, I couldn’t be bothered.
I also don’t want to jump on this freaking productivity-train, cos this is just hiding burn-out, hopelessness & the loss of connection & self in humans.
However, there are three good poitns about it all, that almost make me hope it develops even faster, cos it will accelerate growth in a different direction:
People will hopefully realize what they are actually drawn to & start companies & enter entrepreneurship & help others in that way, with their true gifts, instead of fearing to be laid off & be dependent on employers & huge corporations.
Human-to-human connection will become even more important!
So will human-made art: people will appreciate even more and buy it to have something human-made in this tech-overloaded society we are in.
In thee end, I do not regret having used it, cos I have gained new insights & strengthened my hopes & wishes for the future and my belief that in the end, I dont havee to follow each & every freaking hyped trend.
I can just be & do how I am & do & it will all be fine :)
As usual: I would love to hear your thoughts on this!
Love,
Daria