“I thought you were a feminist!”

... I dont think so...

Photo by Raymond Rasmusson on Unsplash

I am not really sure on how to start writing about this, cos it’s a loaded topic & I have certain thoughts about it that I am not sure I can adequately describe. But I will try either way. If I don’t challenge myself, I will not improve right ;)?

What I think the essence to take away from the get-go is, that people will judge us, or better: put us in certain types of boxes either way, weather we feel we fit into them or not. It is mostly due to their own perceptions, thoughts & experiences & then how they observe others & make their conclusions from it.

In this particular case, I had a male friend telling me, that he thought I used to be one of those hardcore feminists. This really surprised me, because I never in my life have I ever identified myself with the box or label of “hardcore feminist”, not even “feminist” for that matter, if I am truly honest.

First of all, because I dont like to be put in boxes, and second of all, I like it even less when they are popular, societally accepted & loaded boxes. And “feminism” is one of those. So why did he say & think that? It was because of a story I told him. The story was the following:

I shared with him some details about a romantic involvement that I had in the past. I particularly shared one moment that I remember, that made me realize many things afterwards, many behaviors & traumata I was acting upon.

The situation was the following: me and this said mister planned to spend a day out, go for a run…