Chaos inside of me

Changing times ahead

I am currently going through a phase in my life, where I consciously decided to get rid of all kinds of structures, strict believe systems, thought patterns and everything that is in any way restrictive and suffocating.

Today’s post will be a mixture of my thoughts & feelings written down, some poems I wrote to process this sudden appearing urge to get rid of inhibiting structures, and also some plant science analogies.

Because all that represents me & if I am radically honest: I am a huge mix and mess of all these things! I am a complete and utter chaos in my inside and: I love it!!! So much!

The majority of my life I have lived believing that something is wrong with me, I was told to be a chaos, all over the place and not structured. In my grown-up life I was always seen as super structured and organized by my surrounding. Only those very close people who I share my deepest thoughts & ideas & processes with they know: I AM a chaos!

I always believed that it is something bad to be chaos, even though I felt chaotic and still managed all I wanted to accomplish in my life so far: my studies, moving to another country by myself to do a PhD, start my own company. All worked out. Even though I knew I am chaotic & even though I believed its something bad to be that way.

Now is the time to come into more flow & ease, listen to my intuition & my impulses even more, include my heart and soul even more as well into what I want to do & simply follow my joy.

In the name of embracing chaos: let’s start with the two poems I wrote...